`fallentears ;

2005-08-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

My eye is swollen. =\ Hmm. School as usual.. Free periods most of the time though. Due to the launch of the Epson bus thingy. I failed Physics. Woohoo. Stayed back after school for the teachers' day rehearsal. Fun! Lol.. Hmm. that's bout it. Oh, Junyang and Derrick are sooooo cute! =)
No words can say how i feel now. It's true, I'm hurt. So hurt.

2005-08-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

My eye hurts. What a way to start an entry. Lol. Hmm. I got A1 for Chinese!! =) And.. I passed my Chemistry! Woohoo! Heard that only 1/2 of my class pass Physics. So i aint hoping for much.. Expect a fail. Lol. Hmmm. Let's see. Had band today. Somehow it doesnt interest me anymore except for the fact that Fanatic Winds rocks. =) Yup. About it.
You. Give me some space to breathe. Don't try to control my life. It does not revolve around you and you alone. You're making me feel like giving up. Making me feel like letting go and not bothering about your o level results. I would be so much happier. Better off alone. But then again, I don't wanna hurt you. I just hate your jealousy. Can't I have any male friends at all? Be reasonable, will you? Like you're gonna read all this. Sigh.

2005-08-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

2 months. It's a long time huh. To me, at least. Lots of things happened in this month. I dont know what to say. It just seems like there's something missing. I dont know what. I just know, this isnt gonna last forever. Cos i dont see us holding on that long. Call me a pessimist. But i dont have much confidence. It's faith that's keeping me on. And love. Cos I love you. Sigh. Everything's so confusing. I cant seem to get it right. Time will tell, i guess.

2005-08-18T22:12:00.000+08:00

Common test is finally over!! =) Oh.. I got an A1 for e. maths! Surprisingly.. *Grins. My first A1 paper ever since i came into secondary school. Haha.. Hmmmm.. Chem's paper is like.. crap. So totally gonna fail it. A Maths was quite alright. Dear came to find me after school.. Walk around for like less than 1/2 and hour and we went home already.. I saw Mr. Chong!! =) So happy.. Heh.. Yup. That's about it. Toodles.
What happens in the future.. Only heaven knows.

2005-08-15T17:18:00.000+08:00

Well well. Look what the wind has blown here. HELLO. Who gives a damn on how children are behaving nowadays? Like duh. Do I look like i care? Look, if you both have the guts to tag my board, why dont you all have the guts to put your goddamn names? To the Mr/Ms Mystery, look who's the childish one here. Tagging anonymously? YOU grow up. If you hate me that much, why dont you all just FUCK OFF from my blog. No one actually forced you to read it alright. And for your infomation, it is spelt as immature. Double m-s. Not imature. LOSER. GET OUTTA MY LIFE YOU ASS.

2005-08-13T16:12:00.000+08:00

You both disgust me with your every action. Talk about twins. Spreading rumours like that. What do you mean by ask her to stop using people. In what way did she use people? Apparently you were the one who offered to help her with the phone calls. And if I'm not wrong offered to does not mean forced to. So what's with the back stab now? You freaking hypocrite. Fancy acting like you don't know what happened. "Huh? What letter? What??" You were supposed to be her friend. What has she got to do with your twin. What has the GB girls gotta do with this. Spread rumours like some coffeeshop auntie. How much she owes people and all does not concern you. So bug off and leave her alone will you. Both of you. Stop trying to act like you people care a lot. We just hope that she'll change. Shut the hell up man. Just fuck off.

There. My piece. Don't you just hate those people who pretend that they are your best buddy and the next thing you know all the rumours about you are flying all around the school and guess who done it? Suprise Surprise. Your "best bud". Oh shut up. Common test are around the corner. Like next week. So i guess this will be my last post. Till it's over.
I am not obliged to buy you a pen just because I've got top for english last year. Get top for everything this year then. See if i care. Then go buy all the pens in Popular with $105. Grr.

2005-08-10T22:22:00.000+08:00

heh.
im back.
cos i have nt done my functions.
=)
it might have been.
but it didnt.
leave it like that. (:

2005-08-10T18:19:00.000+08:00

hmmmmmmmm.
NEW LAYOUT.
MY VERY OWN!
=)
love it.
with help frm mel. =)
went to val's hse just now..
watched constantine.. love it man..
lol..
hmm.. i feel like changing my url..
but then again.
i dont know.
bah. doing some functions crap now.
that's all.
life's boring.
buhbye.

2005-08-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

hmmm.
yesterday was fun!
=) national day celebrations.
made tang yuans!
LOL. or unity balls. as they call it. wakakakaka.
dennn.. after sch ended, went to town..
den met dear.. went to watch bewitched.
hilarious.. nice show la..
den..
walked walked.
saw yvonne, doris and.. uhh. cant rmbr already.. at cine..
yup..
den went home..
today.. i just stayed at home.. watched the ndp on tv.. and shooting stars!! =)
nicenice.
yup.
that's bout it..
ciaos.

complicated thoughts.

2005-08-07T23:12:00.000+08:00

hmmm.
here again.
friday was fun!
went to millenia walk with eugene ziya and brent. supposedly.
then we saw keefe jiafeng grace and nicole.
so we went with them..
had dinner at ljs.
then we decided to catch a movie.
it was already 9+.
but we went ahead.
charlie and the chocolate factory.
quite boring eh.
eng wah seats are not comfortable at all.
=i reached home at 12+.
hmm.
ytd. didnt do much la.
den today.
went to my aunt's house.
boring.
cant wait for tmr.
=)
no doubt. i shall stop thinking bout it.

2005-08-04T22:02:00.000+08:00

home again.
tiring man.
played soccer for pe!
so fun. LOL.
didnt want to head the ball though.
hmmm.
bla bla bla.
band.
fanatic winds rock.
it seems like. im getting worse in my playing.
sigh.
ooh. went to mount e ytd and see my mum's fren's daughter.
SOOOO CUTEE!!!!
=) babies rock.
i wanna change me blogskin..........!
take my life.
take my soul.
just take me away.

2005-08-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

hmm.
everything's fine again.
i guess.
=)
oh ya.
i promised this.
FUJI!!
ohwell.
he banged into a tree.
HAHAHAHAHA.
=x
laughing at people's misery.
tsk tsk.
sch's sucky.
failed maths. =gotta see ms siu tmr.
argh.
unlucky me.
ciao.
gna try to make me new blogskin.
=)
let everything be fine. please.

2005-07-30T15:59:00.000+08:00

i dont know where to start.
it ended.
im sorry.
it hurts so much.
i had to fight back the urge to tell you i dont wanna let go.
but there are just to many things im uncertain of.
im afraid i cant love you the way you love me.
im afraid i cant be who you want me to be.
im afraid i'd end up hurting you even more.
im afraid that someday this may happen again.
then it would affect your o levels.
everything went so wrong.
i woke up.
and felt the emptiness in my heart.
it hurts.
a lot.
boy i really didnt mean for all this to happen.
i aint happy either.
youve gotta believe me.
you aint unimportant to me.
you mean a lot.
i guess this is for the better.
all the moments spent with you were the happiest in my life.
im really sorry things had to end up this way.
im hurt too.
im sorry.
and do take care.
<\3

my tears fell.

2005-07-27T22:20:00.000+08:00

back again.
man. having headaches and heart aches[literally].
think im gonna die soon.
LOL.
sis says i maybe i have brain cancer and heart problems.
HAHA.
=hmm.. ss test SUCKS!
i was writing crap.
blah blah blah.
sch's boring.
i'd rather die.

2005-07-23T22:17:00.000+08:00

haven been online much.. sorry people..
tests tests and more tests lately.. =argh.
today.
went out with..
mel ziya jacklyn maliwi les vic eiji julia ian val.
towned..
went to pizza hut at centerpoint..
den met dear..
he got injured..
my heart ache.
=(
den dear went off with his fren..
we proceeded to paragon..
eugene came..
met dear den left the people..
went to bugis with dear and his fren..
met alex..
walked around and all..
den went home..
i love today..
=)
boy im loving you more as each day passes.
you mean so much to me.
i love you.

2005-07-17T16:55:00.000+08:00

heyyy!
=)
yesterday.
went to gmss arts nite.. met dear at city hall first then we went to bugis.. den met alex and esther.. nice girl.. lol.. =) den.. had a hard time getting to kallang theatre cos of the ndp practice.. walk a damn long way.. lol.. but still had fun.. the performance was great.. band was good.. so was the choir.. and dance.. practically everything la.. cant imagine kcpss having something like that man.. den ended quite late.. but went to old airport rd with dear and his frens and ate erm.. supper? yeah.. den after that.. took cab home with dear.. =)
i love you boy.

2005-07-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. havent been updating huh.. too lazy.. =x
met my dear yesterday.. =) cant really rmb the rest of the days..
today was depressing.. i took height and weight.. i grew by 1 cm and i gained 0.7kg. =((((( saddening.. sigh-. =\\oh. i failed my chem too. 14/35.
went to watch some chinese corps winds thingy at the esplanade today.. kinda boring.. slept.. cos i had a headache throughout the whole thing.. even on the way back.. hmm. that's about it.
is fame and popularity that important?
is being the best in everything that important?
hmmmm..

2005-07-10T23:23:00.000+08:00

yesterday..
funfair!! =)
fun but boring. huh. LOL.
dear came to find me..
=)
cheer up mel. im always here.
=)
sis came. then cousin came.
left sch.. then took 56 to bugis. slept on the bus..
then took 65 to orchard.
then finally took 14 to bedok.
freaking tired.
dead beat when reached home.

today.
rot at home.
bahhh.
=\

2005-07-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

10 3 things you dont know about me. [ i hope ]

1. i like to read and i can read quite fast.
2. i actually enjoy doing compositions.
3. i am NOT A NERD despite the above statements.

sorry i cant think of the rest.. YET. =)

dont as me why im doing this. IM BORED.

2005-07-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

boo.
4 periods and slack all the way todayy!
=)
went to aljunied after sch..
yeah.. met my dearie.
hmmmmmmmm..

fear.

2005-07-05T22:06:00.000+08:00

yesterday
went to town with val and ian.. lightbulb ehh.. lol..
bought my purple shirt.. =) yay..
after that.. went to aljunied to meet dear..
yeah.. met his sis and godsis i think..
had fun..
=)
today
school.. =\ sucks.
have chem test on thursday.
yay. someone save me please.
after sch slacked at canteen while waiting for val and mel..
then.. went j8.. walked around then.. home..
didnt get to meet dear.. =was feeling helplessly moody today.
i dont like my class.

sometimes i wonder where this path i take will lead me to..

2005-07-03T16:46:00.000+08:00

updates...

friday
sch.. then back home.. then town.. i bought my voodoo dolls bag!!! =D then meet my mother.. then to lavender.. my ic is gonna suck big time.. then to my house bus stop.. bought my prepaid card! then to bishan.. met ham and mel and her friends.. then to CHI.. watched this sort of talentime thingy.. quite fun.. but had a headache.. then... home! at last.. all that while i miss my dear so much. =)
oh yeah.. seems like both my mum and sis knows that ive been talking to a guy.. =\ well.. my mum was like.. i think you are big enough to know what's right and what's wrong.. your sis have been nagging.. so you better study hard for your final year exam and show her that you can get good results.. aint as bad as i expected but there's still my sis.. funny how my mum seems like my sis ans my sis seems to be like my mum.. =\ bah.
saturday
went to my grandaunt's house.. boring la.. hmmm.. seemed like a negative day.. i dowan to think about the future.
today
just gonna rot at home.. so bored.. argh!! i have to go out tmr man..

2005-06-30T21:05:00.000+08:00

to me cousin daryl :
hey dude. please. dont let your mum be worried already alright? at least explain things face to face. running away aint gonna help anything. i guess you ran away out of pique. but have you thought of the consequences? your future. your studies. man.. think about it ya? give it some serious thought. take care ya. i aint gonna ask you to go home. cos i dont think that'll help. just let your mum know that youre safe and sound. it's really very worrying for her. please take really good care.

i was thinking. what if my family finds out. i dont dare to think of the consequences. but somehow. i hope. they will realise that as teenages, all these is part and parcel of life. and i promise it wont affect my studies. im not that dumb. oh man. i can feel that fear growing in me. im gonna be paranoid. maybe i already am. =\

2005-06-30T20:04:00.000+08:00

yesterday
went to ps to watch initial d with dear after sch.. movie was nice.. =) was very happy to meet dear.. sch seems to be taking so much of my time.. =today
sch.. as usual..
had band. was kind very pissed. ok. i was very pissed. cos i had to do a lot of things. bah. some part of me just wish i can leave the band.. i feel that i dont belong in it anymore. i dont like being an ex co. i dont like the teachers in charge. in fact i hate them. my clarinet seems to be the only thing that's keeping me calm whenever im in band. its the only main reason im staying. and also. i love music. bahs. what's getting into me man. im dreading band practices nowadays. yay. talk about being a good example. shoot me.

those feeling that i felt.
those thoughts that went through my mind.
i guess it was fear.
of losing you.
of family knowing.
of having nothing in the end.
of hurt.
but boy, im unable to let you go already. you just make me love you so much. i love you.

2005-06-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

im back!
wahahaha.
sch sucks man.
went shopping today.. =)
a bit laa.. still didnt get what i want.
my bag and all.
im tired.
bleahs.
i miss my dear.

2005-06-26T23:48:00.000+08:00

updates...

friday
dear sent me to sch.. =))
had band.. hugged vic!!! =D
hmm.. got a new instructor.. realized how much i missed mr chong.. =(
played equinox. we sucked. bleahs.
saturday
met dear.. went to j8.. had fun with jas*thm + julia and the three bitches.. and of cos my dear.=)
julia's so gonna get it on her birthday. did so many stupid stuffs. and i ate like 20 sugar coated sweets. =\
went to mel's house.. i got my sylvester!!! from lester.. thks bitch! =)
went home with dear and val and ian.
yupp. love that day.
sunday
went to my aunt's house for dinner.. dreading sch tmr.. =\\\\sigh-

2005-06-23T22:25:00.000+08:00

woo.
i finally did a lil of my homework.
=)
went to val's house today..
crapped around and all..
i miss my dear.
sigh-

2005-06-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

boo.

went to dear's house.
crapped with julia, val and mel before reaching kallang.
thursday's homework dayy!
(:
i love them.
i love my boy.

2005-06-20T14:20:00.000+08:00

sigh.
im the stupidest person on earth.
shoot me please.
i didnt mean to shove you away.
i just dont wanna make things so troublesome for you.
im sorry.

2005-06-20T13:03:00.000+08:00

uh. im bored.
i haven touched any of my holiday assignments.
we haven done our CME project.
YAY.
rebels.
wahahahahaa.
i wanna buy my voodoodolls bag.
towning anyone?

i miss you so much.

2005-06-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

to-

jas*hm + julia: i miss all of you and i cant wait for the 25th! *winkz

mel: will update you when i see you.. but i guess youre smart enough. or maybe you already know.. =p
ziya: i miss you so much!! =)
val: hey babe. sorry alrights. if ive ever hurt you or something. i love ya! and i really really really thank you for being my bestie for 8+yrs!
vic: i hope you do read this cos no words can express how much i miss you babe! band on the 24th.. you coming? =) please say you will cos i dont know how to survive band w/o you!
mal: I MISS YOU! come back come back come back soon!!!!!! =)
julia: hey you! dont make him do anything he doesnt wanna do kaes!! =P
i look forward to see what youve planned! =)

2005-06-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

went bowling today..
broke a nail..
=(
after that i went to bedok..
yup.
boring day..

i miss you so much. =) my sweetie pie.

2005-06-18T01:13:00.000+08:00

new layout.
180605*

i take this step with you.

2005-06-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

i bought:
gio speg tops.
plain gio top.
gio jeans.
TOTE BAG.

*grinns.

love my grandma and my mom's colleague.
woohoo~!

2005-06-17T23:37:00.000+08:00

boo.
=D
*grinns.
i miss jas*hm today.
other than that.
=DD

are we together, or are we not? x)
you should know.

2005-06-17T13:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!
lalalas~~~~
im going out soon.
*poof*
=D

im gonna have a great time. right? =P

2005-06-16T13:45:00.000+08:00

boo..
today just stayed at home and rot.
went out with mel julia ian and ham yesterday.
had fun!
has been ages since i hang out with them..
went to town.
then went to hamzah's house.
they danced!
ham rocks.
LOL.
went to aljunied.
[julia dont scream and shout. i went there WILLINGLY.]
=))
home.

thanks. =) i had a great time.

hmm. after all ive heard. its seems like youve changed. why? if i were in her shoes i would have burst at you already. looks like ive missed out a lot.

2005-06-14T14:53:00.000+08:00

hey ya.
second day staying at home this week.
good and bad.
but im going out tmr!!
=)
i had a weird dream.
hilarious even.
does it mean anything?
gonna try changing my blogskin soon.

what do you really mean when you asked that?
im wondering..

2005-06-12T23:13:00.000+08:00

back.
kinda busy now.
chatting with so many many many pple.
my darling vic is online!
went for the last day of work just now.
awww.
im gonna miss blading.
sigh-
i was so deprived.
went shopping without money.
window shopping to be exact.
i desperately need my pay for all the stuffs i wanna buy.
LOL.

you make me smile.
you make me laugh.
you make me feel like matter a lot.
yet.
you make me scared.
you make me hesitate.
cos
i dont wanna end up hurt.
i dont wanna make you hurt.
i dont want all this to end.

im mixed up.

2005-06-11T00:21:00.000+08:00

woohoo.
time flies.
haven done any of my holiday homework.
yay.

im falling deeper into this.
trust that you wont hurt me.
can i?
im lost.
somebody tell me what to do please.
follow my heart?
or just forget it.
i dont like making decisions.
every step that i take seem to lead me to the wrong path.
save me.

2005-06-09T13:56:00.000+08:00

home!!!
later gonna work with ziya..
=)
went towning ytd..
i wanna buy so many things after im rich.
=D
i need da cash!
LOL.

i dont wan history to repeat itself.
i dont wanna get hurt again.

2005-06-07T14:16:00.000+08:00

woohoo.
back online.
work is so so so fun!
but tiring though.
sorry babes.
i haven been hanging out with you all cos of work.
next week kaes?
=)

i moved on.

2005-06-06T03:10:00.000+08:00

boo.
so late now and i just came online!
have been busy with work!
yep.
i love my job.
people, please take the fliers from the distributors okie?
pity them.
=)
im tired.

no time for that.

2005-06-03T13:32:00.000+08:00

boo.
im bored..
haha.. stayed at home..
muffin went for grooming.
so im so alone.
=maybe meeting julia they all later.
yupp.

i cant hide my disappointment.

2005-06-02T18:50:00.000+08:00

youre here.
so what.
im not gonna make the first move.
im not.
i dont wanna get my hopes high.
i dont wanna get the great disappointment.
i dont.
talk to me if you want to.
maybe you afraid.
who's the one who said its better to remain as frens anyway.
screw it.
im so affected by this.
let me die.
just let me die.
i wanna remain in this wonderful dream i created of you and me.
bleeding.

2005-06-02T16:27:00.000+08:00

home again.
i dislike mas cheok very much.
i hate prejudice-ness.
argh.
unfairness.
ill stand up to that.

darkness.
not a gleam of light.
pleasant sight.

2005-06-02T08:56:00.000+08:00

IM PISSED.
SO FREAKING PISSED.

i waited like half an hour.
you didnt turn up.
called your handphone lik 4 times?!
called your house like 3 times?!
NO ONE FREAKING PICKED UP THE PHONE!!
called mel.
NO ONE PICKED UP TOO!
so i was like freaking IDIOT.
standing, walking around.
JUST WAITING FOR YOU!
NOBODY TOLD ME A SHIT BOUT TODAY.
SO OF COS I WILL WAIT FOR YOU.
I CAME HOME.
IM TOO PISSED TO GO FOR THAT SHIT REMEDIAL.
I HATE WAITING.
ESP FOR NOTHING!

LEAVE ME ALONE.

2005-06-01T17:31:00.000+08:00

weeeeeee~
just cam back frm the music exchange programme at anderson primary..
the kids are SOOOOO CUTE!!!!
esp this girl called pebbles..
even her name is cute!
man.. =)
there's this very attitude guy.. he's so shuai lor!!
LOL.
yepp.
how i wish i was from a primary sch band..
sigh-

im fading away.

2005-05-31T23:30:00.000+08:00

my hair's a mess when i tie it up.
laugh at me when i go to school tomorrow.
hahahahahahaa.
okie.. im a lil insane now..
holidays is the best time to diet..
i slept thru breakfast and lunch..
=)
toodles~

silence.
not a trace of sound.
music to my ears.

2005-05-31T01:30:00.000+08:00

this will be the last time.
im missing you.
i think of you.
i care for you.
from now on.
its over.
tell me.
that its over.
im tired.
exhausted.

2005-05-30T22:47:00.000+08:00

i cut my hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehe..
went to chapter 2 with ziya..
sorry to her for making her wait when i was cutting..
i cut my fringe!!
i like my hairdresser.. she's cute.. lols..
i LOVE her hair!! brown on the top and purple at the bottom!
so cool rite!
at first i couldnt accept my fringe..
was very short.
den in a while.. i realized i actually like it..
it's nice!
and thinn!!!
woohoo~!
=))
yepp..
thats all~ =)

2005-05-29T19:51:00.000+08:00

heyyyy!!
went to malaysai ytd..
i saw tom!! [wanted to say osama but i guess itll be hilarious.. =D]
so coincidental..
hmmmm.
bought 3 black tops.
my mum thinks im insane.
hahahahaha.
got my contacts.
=)
yepp.
im so tired.

healing. nothing left behind.

2005-05-27T21:44:00.000+08:00

boo.
last day of school!!!
=DDDDD
wahahahhaa..
but damn sian lehh..
reached home very early..
=den sleep sleep sleep..
cos very tired.
june holidays are here~~~~!
im gloating.
oh.. got my report book..
i failed 3 subjects overall..
haha..
my grades range from A2 to F9..
so hilarious..
yup.

hell.
im there.

2005-05-26T14:15:00.000+08:00

boo.
im at mel's house now..
just had cross country just now..
was slacking.. =) didnt run..

yesterday was soooooo FUN!!!
=D
went to the airport in like the first time for months...
sent maliwi off..
den guess what?
WE SAW FUJI!!!!!!!
so coincidental!!!
it was like 9+..
and his flight was 2 am..
so we [me, mel, ziya, ian] accompanied him to macs..
i think we spent like an hour laughing our asses off very loudly in macs..
all thanks to his "hao ke ai de ya zi" and "turn INTO a new leaf".
hahahahahahahaha..
oh man.. i'll miss his crappiness.. =D
went back then reached home at like 11.15..
very very very tired..
so bathe and slept..
and i woke up at 5 this morning!
argh..
im so not having enough sleep.
thank god holidays are coming.. =))

not in my mind.

2005-05-24T20:52:00.000+08:00

boo. =)
sch sucks.
i dont like them to teach when exams are over.
dont we deserve a little break?
argh.
mr chong's officially leaving tmr..
all the shitcrap bout him resigning.
screw the sch.
oh well.
at least he'll be better off in HIGHER PAYING schools who actually are GRATEFUL for all the effort he puts in. like you know coming back without getting paid during the holidays.
=)

i dont seem to know who i am.
weaker as each breath pass.
gasping.
fainting.
dying.

2005-05-22T16:03:00.000+08:00

heyy.

yesterday.
bendemeer was so fun!
shafiq was so nice.
got me cotton candy and drinks for free!
lols..
victor's gang and mei yuan's gang almost fight.
but they didnt.
and i was disappointed.. =x
haha..
yepp..
i was wondering how much more interesting my life would be if im in bendemeer..
lols..
yepp..

wounds heal.
but scars left behind.

2005-05-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

as days pass
as time flies
you seem to be further and further away.
then all of a sudden.
all came rushing back.
i find myself reminiscing.
thinking.
wondering.
even as blood trickles down.
even as tears fall.
i feel no pain.
im numbed.
from all the hurt in my heart.
no one sees.
i dont show.
all these feelings.
youll never know.

crushed.

2005-05-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

hmmmm.
here goes.

a maths - 16 F9
physics - 42 D7
chemistry - 44 D7
e maths - 48 D7
combined humanities - 70 A2
english - 73 A2
chinese - 75 A1

yeah. suckified. arghhhhh!
sch sch sch.
boring lahh.
tmr going bendemeer! yayyyy~!!!!
=)

unnecessary worries.
i dont have to care anymore...
right? = (
i miss you so.

2005-05-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

hmmmmmmmmm.
my results suck.
i post the results tmr cos i still dont know my english.
i fail a loootttt.
oh wells.
packed the band room.
finally everything's in the cupboard in alphabetical order.
=D
but still. i hate cheok.
was slapping lester on the way home.
he slapped me too!
lols.. we were like 2 idiots slapping each other.
wahhahahahaha.

scars left behind.

2005-05-17T22:35:00.000+08:00

wooohooooo~

I LOVE MY BLOGSKIN!
MY FIRST EVER MADE!

thks to mel who created the border for me.
in return i put THE cool sadistic pic up.
wahhaahahah..

tag comments on it kayys?

=DD *GRINS*.

2005-05-17T20:21:00.000+08:00

boo. guess what? I GOT 42/1oo FOR PHYSICS!!!!! =DDD i passed the 4o range! OMG. i cant believe myself. hahahaha.. =p im mad yeah.. had band. fcuking cheok pissed me off so much. she screwed my life. she screwed band. she screwed everything she can screw. like fcuk her!!!! so fcuking pissed ok. she moved almost all the scores i had packed ever so nicely in alphabetical order in the cupboard into a stupid freaking box!!!!!!!! SCREW HER! almost lost it. im so sure she knows the whole band HATES her. LOATHES her. DESPISE her. fcuking bitch who took everything into her own hands. if i ever lose it with her, imma gonna get expelled or something. fcuk. I HATE HER!

my life is totally screwed.

2005-05-16T08:44:00.000+08:00

can you believe it.
im at home.
im actually at home at this hour.
im supposed to be in sch.
why am i home?
BECAUSE I COULDNT GET ANY FREAKIN CAB!!!!!
i waited with val..
from 6.45 to 7.45.
1 hour!!!!!!
and NO CAB!
rain was so freaking heavy.
i was drenched even with val's umbrella.
so many pple just stood b4 us and got a cab!
by 7.45, we decided we shant go to sch anymore.
all the soaking in the rain alr made us feel sick man.
ARGH.
im pissed with kiasu singaporeans!!!

2005-05-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

ive been thinking.
im gonna change me blogskin soon.
perhaps itll be my first. i mean. first creation la..
dont know if i can do it..
still.. i wanna try.
if i screw up, ill just stick to this. =)

2005-05-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

ello. im back.
i went to mel's house for two days in a row.!
gonna be her mum's newly adopted daughter soon. =)
baked muffins. first batch sucks. the second was nice! =))
her mum insisted on sending me right up to my corridor.
=))
oh wells. weekend's over. sch starts tmr. =(
sulks.
-
im stuck.

2005-05-13T14:05:00.000+08:00

went to sch for band stuff. den decided not to go.. had lunch at macs. so i actually just woke up at 9 to go to bishan for lunch. yay. dumb. had headache..
-
some words made me realize. you're still in my mind. =(
no chance. none at all.

2005-05-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

i hate this. blogged and it wasnt published! blahs. mid year is over! went towning yesterday.. first time in 2 months.. took many many pictures~ had lots of fun.. but town just make me reminisce. oh well. i screwed chem. i dont give a damn bout results anymore. 44/1oo. =D
i hope two of my good frens hear this [v and l]. i know it's hard going thru all this. sometimes, letting go is the best option. i wanna both of you to know that i'll always be here for ya alrights? =)

2005-05-07T11:26:00.000+08:00

three more days to end of mid year!
woohoo!
have been going to secret recipe recently..
yup.
-
sometimes i just miss you so much.
at night i pray that soon your face will fade away..

2005-05-04T19:11:00.000+08:00

its over. long gone. just wish i can brainwash my freaking head. tell myself I DONT WANNA CARE. yup. losing my mind. losing my pace. i cant seem to go on any longer. freak it. everything's crashing. im losing my head. MID YEAR JUST KILLS ME.

2005-05-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

gonna make this quick. mid yr just sucks. have been meeting mei yuan and xiao miow.. =)) alrights. byeee~

now she lies
broken inside

2005-04-29T22:48:00.000+08:00

are we at war tonight
will there be angels whispering to me goodnight
dont wake when the lightning strikes
my heart for you is true
let no one take that from you
time is running tight
cant change from wrong to right
so ill close my eyes and dream a little
just like how we used to be baby
its time to say farewell
no need to cry of feelings
oh its alright
all in the book of life
heaven grant me one last wish i beg you
let me say these words before i go
i will love you till the end of time
every breath of mine
ill hold you by my side
but ill rest in peace my sweetheart will you
let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can change my world from black to white
so ill close my eyes and dream a little more
are we at war tonight
will there be angels whispering to me goodnight
dont wake when the lightning strikes
heaven grant me one last wish i beg you
let me say these words before i go
i will love you till the end of time
every breath of mine
ill hold you by my side
but ill rest in peace my sweetheart will you
let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can give me strength to fight
till the sky is burning
its the end of time
look ahead tomorrow
long and winding road
keep the faith of mine
dont let it go
youre the only reason that im growing cold
what would i do
without you
i will love you till the end of time
every breath of mine ill hold you by my side
but ill rest in peace my sweetheart will you
let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can make my world so bright
life no longer ends here
with you in my heart
in my heart..

i love this song.

2005-04-29T15:01:00.000+08:00

first paper. chinese. quite ok la.. didnt feel like going anywhere after the paper ended. so i came home.. yup.

think of all the time that ive wasted
think of all the times that i took you back
aint no way ill be lonely
i dont wanna let you back in
lets just face it (face it)
better off alone and i wont turn back
its not that i would be lonely
i dont wanna let you back in

2005-04-27T17:13:00.000+08:00

haven been coming online often.. mid year's friday! goodness. im hating maths n siu more n more everyday. =\ argh. ian n val came just now.. man im bored.

im giving up on everything
because you messed me up
dont know how much you screwed it up
you never listened
thats just too bad
because im moving on
i wont forget
you were the one that was wrong
i know i need to step up and be strong
dont patronize me

2005-04-22T22:44:00.000+08:00

pastamania~

watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
i cant let go
when will the night be over

i didnt mean to fall in love with you
and baby theres a name for what youve put me through
it isnt love its robbery
im sleeping with the ghost of you and me

2005-04-21T23:44:00.000+08:00

lfe can never be more boring.

2005-04-19T21:47:00.000+08:00

hmm. thinking bout this topic jas*thm had quite long ago. or maybe like.. 1 week ago.. am i like too accommodating in a relationship? mel said she cant stand me. cos i give in too much. mel, vic and mal are like the demanding ones. where me, val and ya are the accommodating ones. hmm.. is it like bad to be giving in all the time? dont know.. i just feel that.. if i can give in and itll make the other party happy, why cant i? dont have to quarrel over minor stuffs. but then again.. maybe i shouldnt give in too much. well.. i dont know. blahs. this just came to my mind so yeah..

=\

2005-04-19T19:16:00.000+08:00

i did the most embarrassing thing today. i fell. in the canteen. during recess. i wish i could have buried myself underground. 2.4 sucks. think i failed by 6 secs. or maybe i passed cos im still 14. my shoulders hurt. all les' and darius' fault.

all this is gonna end.

2005-04-18T00:00:00.001+08:00

bleahs. sch sucks. see no purpose in studying. argh. scrimp and save week. im BROKE. totally.

i dont wanna see you. each time i do i lose the determination to forget. tell me how to. you're in the same class! arghhhhh.

2005-04-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

screaming inside but no one hears.
calling for help but no one cares.
bleeding heart but no one heals.
broken soul but no one sees.

im lying here. thinking of this life of mine. all the mistakes i made. all the foolish decisons i made in a haste. the feeling. its long gone. i aint gonna think about it. like i said. i need no fcuking love.

2005-04-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

doing my homework now.. argh.. having a headache.. suppose to do the online assignment that im given.. but my com keep screwing up and the website take so long to load.. i gave up.. life isnt very good nowadays.. in fact, it sucks. hais. head's bursting. mid year's in 2 weeks time.. gonna cramp everything into my tiny brain. im getting tired.. of everthing. bleahs.

this dark path i walk alone. without you.

2005-04-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

bronze. was really disappointed. cried. oh well. we did our best. =) i really wanna thank mr chong and mr lim. without them we'll not even go for syf. yup. today. cant remember what i did. was feeling sick so i skipped pe. blah blah blah. sch passed. rushed to my mum's clinic den went for my injection. my arm hurts now. and im having pft tomorrow so i dont know how the hell im gonna do my incline pull up. argh. gonna fail. back home. yeah.

i dont wanna care. dont wanna think. dont wanna do anything.

2005-04-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

i love f*** it. its a song. so cool. haha.. should go check the lyrics out.. i dont wanna post it.. many "f***"s. =)

zhuo tian shi lian ren jin tian shuo fen shou jiu fen shou. hais.

2005-04-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

had band. crapped around. life sucks. i got 9/4o for chem. 2nd F9 this yr. yay. i hate this. gonna clear my mind for tomorrow. just for tomorrow.

maybe this was just a dream.

2005-04-12T22:26:00.000+08:00

syf: tomorrow.

kcb;

we've come this far.

tomorrow's the day we've been waiting for.

we'll make it.

SILVER.

=)

2005-04-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

thinking. all along the reason that i cant forget you is because i didnt really want to. i didnt really let go. i was just hanging. unwilling to face reality. but now.. all this seem nothing more than stupidity. life sucked in a different way last yr.. it sucked because i didnt have anyone in my world. i dont know which is worse. not having anyone or having someone who broke ur heart. hais. when will i be back to the real dine? =( i dont wanna let go. but im left with no choice.

i miss last yr.
i miss kamini, audrey, cyrene, charlene n cheryl.
i miss darius, keefe[s], amrish, chang siang, blah blah blah.
i miss not handing in ting xie book.
i miss home ec lessons.
i miss letting keefe do my d n t practical.
i miss kamini's house.
i miss snowie.
i miss cyrene's house.
i miss sky.
i miss hunk-hunting with kamini.
i miss arguing with cheok during maths lesson.
i miss disturbing ms low.
i miss smuggling peach tea back to class.
i miss 2 peace.
i miss my old life.

i hate my life now.
i hate being in 3 peace.
i hate having to do all my homework.
i hate being one of the few pple who dont do homework.
i hate being guai.
i hate being in the same class as you.
i hate studying.
i hate e maths.
i hate a maths.
i hate all the teachers who teach me except ms oon and ms teo.
i hate pure chem.
i hate pure physics.
i hate tests.
i hate exams.
i hate school.

2005-04-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

hmm.. went to my uncles hse just now.. ate alot.. ytd slept very long.. for like 15 hrs. sick.. im such a pig.. syf countdown: 3. argh.

i miss you. =(

2005-04-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

had my blood test yesterday cos my mum's a hep b carrier.. so cool.. first time i enjoyed injection. lols. im sadistic. had band.. played for mr loh, ms yeo, ms amy n ms oon. kind nervous but all's well.. syf countdown: 5 days. dammit.

i dont hate you. blahs. i hate my life.

2005-04-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

ive never told you before, how much you meant to me
ive never told you before, all the times i spent with you were the happiest in my life
ive never told you before, i never wanna let you go
ive never said this in front of you before, but i like you.
ive never done all these.
what's the point of thinking when its already over?
i dont know. i really dont. just felt like blogging this.
i though itd be easy to move on.
just put everything aside.
but every free second that i have, my mind will wander back to the past.
reminiscing.
then ill wake up. n tell myself its all over.
snap back to reality.
that you dont love me anymore.

how can i be smiling like before?

when baby you dont love me anymore.

say it isnt so

tell me youre not leaving

say youve changed your mind now

that i am only dreaming

that this is not goodbye

this is starting over

if you wanna know

i dont wanna let go

so say it isnt so.

2005-04-06T22:55:00.000+08:00

argh. i hate today. dammit. freaking shit. a million apologies to upcoming excos of KCB who reads my blog n mr chong[i know he doesnt]. i really didnt mean to skip band today. really really really am sorry. hais.

my mind's in a whirl. my world seems to be spinning. why do i still think of you. arghh. f*** it.

2005-04-04T22:59:00.000+08:00

hmm. sch. sucks. hate it. so much. argh. end of sch. damn cold day. was freezing. got pissed. but got ovr it. went to j8. secret recipes! rocks. gonna eat it everyday if possible. but all the fats. urgh. lols. went to maliwi's house. so fun. watch my tutor fren. den went back. man. life sucks.

i hate this.

2005-04-03T01:10:00.000+08:00

yesterday(friday) went to j8 with julia ziya mel ham ian val vic les. we pranked hammie~! lols. i felt so guilty cos he was so worried! we dissected garfield! i got his tail! lols.. so fun. went back. den today.. went for band. practised quite alot. i realise i still sound like shit. freak it. syf's in 11 days time. after band went to j8 with vic les n jo. wasnt really right. tars~

all the feelings that i thought was gone came rushing back to me. why do you seem to move on so easy. damn it. i hate myself. really do.

2005-03-31T22:26:00.000+08:00

hmm.. yesterday didnt have the time to blog.. went for band and all.. missed band so much.. lols.. today.. went to sch as usual.. bored man. i hate sch. argh. had pe.. don quite like touch rugby.. donno y but i don seem to enjoy pe as much as before.. bleahs. vandalised my table.. =) haha.. after sch suppose to go mei yuan's house but that idiot didnt reply me so didnt go.. went to jo's house with vic instead.. her dog's so cute! lols.. wached a lil of wishing stairs.. nice! haha.. yupp.. was kinda pissed with some idiot who ps-ed me. hmph. but was all over! reach home.. watch tv.. here i am. tars~

argh. messed up. im so messed up.

2005-03-29T21:26:00.000+08:00

hey. back frm penang! dat post was by vic.. hehe.. thks girl.. love ya! =) penang was fun.. went shopping n eating n shopping n eating.. haha.. bought roxy wallet. woohoo~ tanned n got burnt. slept in the sun for an hour! haha.. peeling now.. =( hmm.. proceeded on to KL on sunday.. uncles n aunts persuaded my mum n aunt to stay for another day n miss sch! wahahha.. hilarious family.. so yupp.. stayed.. den afternoon went to malacca.. reached dere n ate dinner.. reach home at l2 plus.. was like a zombie this morning.. hmm.. had sports day.. bored.. i fell asleep.. but my darling audrey won! wahahaha.. was cheering for 3 love instead of my own class.. black sheep. lols.. sprayed hair spray n painted my face with face paint.. yupp.. went to j8 for dinner. argh. was not myself. was cranky n pissed n irritated. over nth i guess.. thinking too much makes me go insane.. tars~

maybe we should just forget everything that had happened. back to the start of the year. "brothers". i donno if it's possible for me. to forget the times we spent together. i'll try.. cos i guess this is the best way out. at least better then pretending that none of us exists. like now.

penang

2005-03-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

going to penang already. won't be back till sunday. don't miss me alright? haha.. tars~

2005-03-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

hmmm. i love mocking bird by eminem. =) handed in my hol. hmwrk for maths. i did it myself. can u believe that? can u see the halo above my head? =x had chapel. dont know why but just today, everything sounded especially meaningful. hmm. was copying chi workbook with audrey after sch. den went for band. practice was quite alright. except for some pple who scolded us for no apparent major reasons. [winks at vic, jack, jo, delph n nic.] YEAH MAN. I TOTALLY DONT WAN TO GET A MEDAL FOR SYF. SO WHAT IF U THINK MY ATTITUDE SUCKS? U THINK U'RE SOME BIG QUEEN OR SOMETHING? U CANT STAND MY ATTITUDE OR ALL OF OURS? THEN KINDLY PLS DONT COME FOR FURTHER SECTIONALS THANK YOU. argh. pissing. i hate to get shouted at when all we did was sitting down n PRACTISING. just dat we werent with our juniors. barged in n acted like a total bitch. argh. what's with the f***ed-up attitude YOU gave us? TOTALLY DISCIPLINED HUH. get outta here. =) went to mos. den macs. with darling vic. yup. home. oh ya. i LOVE 3 love's class tee. it just makes me wanna go 3 love more. if i did, i wouldnt be like that now. argh. but again. this is fate. :)

as each day passes, you dont seem to matter anymore. is this good? or bad?

2005-03-21T22:09:00.000+08:00

man. i hate sch. but recess got extended. yay! sch hours got extended too. boo. four periods of ms siu continuously on tues n wed. double boo. did i mention i hate sch? yea. argh. did some nonsensical things today.. like taking the wrong class key n stuffs. went j8 met my cousin. idiotic ass. haha.. yep. went back with lester. tars~

awkward. so awkward. =\

2005-03-20T17:15:00.000+08:00

a promise is nothing more than just a word if no chance is given to fulfil it. memories. hais.. back where i started. back to my monotonous life. freak it.

2005-03-20T16:21:00.000+08:00

at my cousin's house now.. i haven done my holiday homework. how nice. sch starts tmr. =\ gonna be a rebel.. haha.. had band yesterday. fun.. tars~

2005-03-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

had band. man.. i really want the band to do well in this syf. but some members just piss me off with their
"i-come-only-becos-i-have-to" attitude. lyk wth.. argh. tars~

i cant blame you. it's not ur fault. i just wish i heard it frm u. maybe we would still be toking if u told me.. well.. im glad i heard it.. at least we were once together.. i aint gonna hold on any longer. gonna keep all our memories hidden deep in my heart. gonna move on.. i nvr regretted liking you. i guess we just knew each other at the wrong time. we were just not meant to be..

2005-03-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

boo. stayed at home the whole day. how nice. =\ oh yeah. cut my hair. not much difference anyway. bleah. hate dis life of mine. going tp tmr. hurray.

the feeling's coming back. hurt. sh*t. just get outta my head. get outta my heart. get outta me. donno what im feeling now. donno wth i want. argh.

2005-03-15T11:31:00.000+08:00

online so early again.. =\ nth to do.. just watch young and dangerous 3.. love it.. but so sad.. hais.. have been having a headche since monday.. urgh.. bleahs. nth much to say.. muffin's so pitiful.. hais.. dat's all.. tars~

hais.. :(